weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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