I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
