So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
