I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
