Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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