I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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