How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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