The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Shame - the story of my life.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
