You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
