I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just found puke in my bra..
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize