somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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