Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
