just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Im just a social blackout drinker.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
