last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
