Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
