By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
