:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
