Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
