just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
