to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
