dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
