The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
