I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
