i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
