The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
