This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
