Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize