He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
