Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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