Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize