Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
