did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
tell me about the eggs
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
