I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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