there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My feet surprised me
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