Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
