he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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