Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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