Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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