therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
