I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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