he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
