Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Let's get the cat blown out
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Success! We fucked roommates!
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