new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The ass gains better be worth it
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