Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize