u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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