i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize