We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
