Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
