Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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