I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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