I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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