haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
