Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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