If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
