No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
