can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize