when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
