I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
